The Joy of Acceptance

When we accept things as they are in this moment in time we recognise there is nothing we need do, which can be a great relief. We are free just to be, nothing more. We can just relax into life, moment by moment, without anxiety because our minds are not dabbling in the past or future which is where anxiety is born. Instead, our minds are resting simply in the here and now. When we dabble in the past or the future, it can cause us all sorts of problems which can affect our state of mind and even cause us physical suffering. Let's face it, the past has gone and the future hasn't arrived, so the only place for us to realistically be is in the present moment. That is where reality lies. And we can deal with the future later, when it becomes the present. But not now.

When we accept everything as it is right now, we can also say that at this moment in time, everything is as it should be. It's fine. Of course, what is at this moment won't stay that way because nothing in life is ever permanent, and that includes the way we feel. If we are feeling good, then that is a joy. However, if we are feeling uncomfortable or suffering in some way, we can accept that, too, with equanimity because we know that nothing stays the way it is, not even pain. Change of one sort or another is inevitable. And, if we are suffering in some way, there can be a certain joy in that as well because we can use the suffering as a catalyst for our spiritual growth. If the suffering is physical, if we focus on our breathing gently in and out and also place our hands lightly on the area of pain, then maybe it will calm our nervous system and bring relief. Let us remember, too, that the mischievous workings of our monkey mind will aggravate our physical suffering if we let it. It loves to do that. If, on the other hand, our pain is mental/emotional, then we have the relief of knowing that we can always alter our perception of things, if we wish to. We can even divert our attention from our own pain to focusing on our heart area and sending out from there beams of love and compassion to someone else who may be suffering as much as we are. In other words, we divert our attention and thereby use our suffering as a tool for our own growth. Also, it helps to accept our suffering and sometimes, just by accepting it as it is, the pain of it will diminish. Pehaps you have noticed that if you focus on it, and make it the centre of your thinking, the pain becomes intense. So, therefore it is better to focus on something else.

Another way of causing ourselves suffering is by being a control freak. I know, I've done it many times. I've tried to control everything in my life which is a surefire way of cultivating needless anxiety for the future. Control freaks are usually harassed individuals who can't let go. And they certainly cannot accept things as they are in the present moment because they are busy trying to control everything, including people, in the future. Just accept things and people as they are. People have the right to be as they are; it's their journey. And we have no right to try change or manipulate them. Happy or unhappy, let them be. How true a saying it is that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". Of course, we should have unconditional compassion for everyone. But we shouldn't try to interfere in their lives. Nor can we control everything in ours. Let go, let be, accept things as they are. It's absolutely the way they should be... at this moment in time. Nothing to do.

All this I write with passion because having spent so many years of my life not accepting things as they are has cost me dear. So, yes, the road to joy is about living in the present moment, about cultivating mindfulness so that we can live our lives fully with ever-increasing awareness. Accept things as they are in this moment in time and the sun will begin to shine for you, every day.